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Joke of the Day

"If that baby didn't want to be aborted it should have pulled itself out by its bootstraps like a real American"

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night... ...but he was having Nunavut"

"If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years."

"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."

"Have you seen the world's biggest thermometer? I hear it's fair in height"

"If a girl has sex with many guys, she's called a slut, but if a guy does the same... ... he's called gay."

"Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower."

"My exes broke up with me because I'm a pot lover. I guess you can say they don't have high standards."

"How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce"