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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of homeless people moved in at a local gyn They heard there was other people squatting there."

"I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up."

"How do you launder money? Put it under the soap."

"I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: ""None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."""

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's six years in a row now"

"Why shouldn't Mexicans play UNO? They keep taking all the green cards"

"What's a bodybuilder's favorite fight of the American Civil War? The Battle of Gaine's Mill"

"What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world? Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too."

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I know where you can buy drugs"""

"Why was the comedian so depressed? He felt like everyone was just laughing at him."