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Joke of the Day

"My kid's latest report card looks like someone with a stutter is trying to swear."

"Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey. Me: No rush. 3 days later.......regrets saying no rush."

"All women want to be swept off their feet, until you push them into the sea. Dating is hard!"

"Knock knock Who's there? No one. You imagined the knocking due to mental illness brought on by crushing loneliness."

"Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land."

"What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? 1 US Leader."

"You know what they say about incest... It's only relatively bad."

"My ex-wife still misses me... ...BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils... ...but that's a whisk i'm willing to take."

"What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune? Oh, Plebes."