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Joke of the Day

"A tourist walks up to a woman in a bar Tourist: Hello, what's your name? Girl: Hi, I'm Erica. Tourist: I'm Jim, where are you from? Girl: America. Tourist: Yeah, but where are you from?"

"I'll put a comma, after a comma, even if it doesn't need a comma, to completely, drive you, insane."

"This Just In For News A man apparently, we assume, was black, and we assume, was shot, and we assume, by a police officer. More details, we assume, later."

"Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some."

"If they cause you to have anxiety & panic attacks the majority of your relationship, move on. In related news, I just broke up with my mom"

"I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand"

"Apparently you can survive just by eating plants. That's something I haven't herbivore."

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One fish turns to the other and says, ""DAM."""

"If you own a big home and someone tells you to go big or go home, you get trapped in a paradox forever and can't even die. I'm serious."

"I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms."