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Joke of the Day

"Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some."

"What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline"

"They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but actually... A plateau is."

"What popular board game do dyslexics hate? Scramble"

"Happy Valentine's day! Do you know what the word of the day is? Legs!.....Should we go back to my place and spread the word?"

"What weapons do pengiuns have? Pen-guinades."

"Did you know John Denver had dandruff? Yeah, after his plane went down they found his Head and Shoulders washed up on a beach."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in school? He just woke up!"

"You strike me as one of those people who show up and debunk all the fun in the last 2 minutes of an otherwise scintillating UFO TV program."

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.... There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they're all still in France :("