190643

Joke of the Day

"This Just In For News A man apparently, we assume, was black, and we assume, was shot, and we assume, by a police officer. More details, we assume, later."

"What is a twip? A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain."

"From the list of things you should not be cheap about: pens, chairs, prostitutes, coffee, and dentists."

"My nephew ran in and jumped on me while I was napping. I handled it well. If ""handled it well"" means ""punched a 9-year-old in the kidneys."""

"Titanic be like ""I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge!"""

"I was with a girl last night who told me she wanted me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt... so I fucked her twice and hit her with a rock."

"I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband."

"Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur? Because he couldn't branch out."

"2 ""black"" questions that aren't racist. What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire. What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"Why can't Iron Man stay in a steady relationship? He has rust issues."