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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis."

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it."

"What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? When you get a divorce you get rid of the whole prick."

"Everyone gets on the fashion industry for unrealistic beauty standards, but can we talk about unrealistic depictions of food on boxes?"

"Michelle Obama should have dropped the mic and moonwalked out."

"Knock Knock. *Who's There?* A Kid! *A Kid Who?* A kid who cant reach the doorbell."

"[Date] ""I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."""

"Whats green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table"

"What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife? Who are you?"

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."