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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't they show the orchestra concert on TV? There was too much sax and violins."
Next Joke
"When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan."
"What do pessimists and electrons have in common There both always negative."
"Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt: ""You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"" Kid: Nevermind ""Yeah, me, too."""
"Start reading to your kids as early as possible. I start around 2:30 a.m."
"How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way."
"*Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*"
"Q: How do French poodles greet each other? A: Bone-jour."
"I've been in chemistry lectures all day... I'm absolutely Bohred to death!"
"What do tofu and dildos have in common? They serve as makeshift substitutes for people who have forsaken meat."