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Joke of the Day

"At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby. They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error."

"You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk."

"We've all heard of Whistler's Mother.... But what about Whistler's Father? I guess you could say that he's out of the picture."

"Dad: Did you get gas? Me: Ya i got it on the way home from school Dad: Well if you got gas than you better go to the bathroom!"

"What did the mexican say to the Highlander? There can only be Juan."

"Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow."

"I used to go fishing with Skrillex... but he kept dropping the bass :("

"Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?"

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"Why was the priest also an imam? Double the prophet."