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Joke of the Day

"Vodka & Vicodin are the answer. I have no idea what the hell the question was."

"Boss: ""You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!"" Me: ""You're not suppose to cheat on your wife."" Boss: ""Keep up the good work sir."""

"What do having sex and playing cards have in common? If you dont have a partner. You better have a good hand."

"A Spartan boy was ripped from his mother at seven and subjected to daily beatings My mother calls at 40+ to make sure that I'm still eating"

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

"A clown tries to get insurance for his company, but the agent says Agent: Sorry, we don't do any funny business here."

"Why are fruit rapists seldom found alone? They come in pears"

"My favorite sex position is the Ronald Reagan cause i'll bang russia and break a wall did it suck?"

"My jokes are like onions... They're layered. And because if you dissect them I'll cry."