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Joke of the Day

"A Spartan boy was ripped from his mother at seven and subjected to daily beatings My mother calls at 40+ to make sure that I'm still eating"

"Good morning beautiful breasts of my neighbor. How did you get inside these binoculars?"

"the easiest way to distinguish between their/there/they're is to remember that they are all different words"

"Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?"

"One time, Chuck Norris had sex with a hooker in a truck, and some semen got on the seat... The truck is now known as Optimus Prime."

"A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat."

"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got out of jail? He's trying to integrate back into society, but you can still kinda differentiate him from others."

"I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't gone to a gig yet."

"What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March? Spring break!"