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Joke of the Day

"A horror movie, but the monster chasing me is my coworker that wants to tell me about her date last night. *twists ankle by the copier"

"""I'm tired."" - Beat Cop"

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are usually around a buck fifty, and deer nuts are always under a buck."

"Why should you bury indians 10 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Why call him? He ain't coming!"

"I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours."

"WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies"

"Is it just me? ... or are circles pointless"

"remember when people would choke on cinnamon to entertain the internet"