37714

Joke of the Day

"Make the little things count Teach math to midgets"

"A woman in her seventies overhearing that I was a tattoo artist asked if I wanted to see her ""rat"" tattoo. I said sure. She revealed a bare hip and said ""Oh, I guess my pussy must have ate it"""

"did you hear about the constipated mathematician? he worked it out with a pencil.... a number two pencil"

"Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers? They can only learn 4 moves."

"TIL that curling used to be coed... But the decision was made to segregate because the committee felt the female members had an unfair advantage, being naturally better sweepers."

"This joke will SHOCK you. how do you catch a mouse? Click baiting."

"Life's not about people who act true to your face. It's about people who remain true behind your back."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet."

"Guess who I bumped into at the opticians? Everybody"

"A friend walked up to me while I was playing guitar and said ""Sick strat, bro"" I said ""Did you just assume my fender? you bigot?"""