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Joke of the Day

"On a perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice? So... Can I come inside?"

"Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on."

"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Jews."

"I have a CW who can't input data into a spreadsheet without whispering each number so don't tell me about your day."

"I'm having an out of money experience."

"What hangs at a man's thigh, and wants to poke the hole it's often poked before? A key."

"[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down."

"The people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones... ...but the people of Abu Dhabi do."

"The ""impossible"" EM Drive works, space travel just became more viable. Yet Half Life 3 still unconfirmed."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Well, I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"