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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"Someone said that my kid would probably grow up to be president, and I'm not sure if it was meant as a compliment or an insult."

"I always like to have snacks while I surf porn. That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package."

"Why did the computer overheat? Because windows wasn't open."

"One fifth of people... ...are just too tense!"

"What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union."

"Auto correct is my worst enema."

"There are 3 kinds of people in the world those who can count and those who can't."

"I support Greenpeace because I care about environmental activism, just not enough to do any of the real work myself."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One..... Or two..."