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Joke of the Day

"#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus."

"You what the opposite of premature ejaculation is? Ejacu-late"

"I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... I'm not really a mourning person."

"/r/jokes http://i.imgur.com/i9mD9jZ.gifv I don't remember what that link is, used this cuz reddit says I need text here to post."

"Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your x. and dont ask y."

"What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe? A Serj Protector."

"Why should you never put the punchline in the title? Because it ruins the joke"

"I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time."

"What type of fighting technique do amputees practice? Partial arts."

"Why did the Pilgrims pants keep falling down Because his belt buckle was on his hat ..."