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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe? A Serj Protector."

"So I was eating out my grandma this morning, and suddenly I tasted horse semen. Then it came to me. ""So that's how she died."""

"No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You've gotta respect that."

"I tell women I can't open that jar because I have a headache."

"I went to the Zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu"

"Laughter is the best medicine Dad used to say laughter was the best medicine I guess that's why some of us died of tuberculosis."

"Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there."

"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"What's green and smells like pig shit? Kermit's finger."

"4-year-old: Are hot dogs made from real dogs? Me: Would you eat them if they were? 4: No! Me: 4: Unless I had ketchup."