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Joke of the Day

"I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants."

"My girlfriend told me stop singing wonderwall. I said maaaaybe...."

"I once bought a llama to surprise my girlfriend... ""A llama?"" ""No, surprise her."""

"For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange And stayed home."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped police custody? Be on the lookout for a small medium at large."

"9/11 jokes are hurtful to me. My dad died that day The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia. Sniff."

"[A Sex Joke] Get Your Jokes On Q. Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes? Answer : ""Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"""

"Some guy keeps saying he's going to post a pic of his girlfriend in his next submission to r/Femdom but never delivers OP is a flagellate"

"What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer"

"People can be so easy to read.... ....Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."