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Joke of the Day

"I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants."

"What do you call a black brick with three holes in it? A polish bowling ball."

"Why don't you ever hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"The number of my farts. . . is gastronomical."

"So... Do you like dragons? You do? Good. Cause I am gonna be draggin' my balls across your face. Someone at work told me this and I couldn't stop laughing."

"Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob"

"Dear movies, We'll never be upset to the point of throwing expensive jewelry at the bottom of the ocean. Never. Sincerely, Women"

"What did one strand of yarn say to the other? I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. ""Ball up..."""

"What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy? Blunt Trauma"

"YSK: Daylight Savings Time ends tonight, make sure to reset all your clocks. Oops, wrong sub"