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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you ever hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"Sometimes, eating is very similar to driving. You trust stale greens"

"Just got seen around town doing modern guy stuff like leaning on things, holding my phone & staring disapprovingly at nothing in particular."

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam"

"What's the difference between a normal pirate and a sexy pirate? The type of booty they plunder."

"Oklahoma State's student union got shut down today because of a gun threat It turns out it was just a calculator. Don't people know that a calculator is for math deduction not mass destruction?"

"Great idea Journalist: What do you think of western civilization? Gandhi: I think it would be a great idea!"

"Female dogs... Today a female dog tried to talk and play with my dog. He couldn't muster the courage to talk to her.. He didn't have the balls to do it."

"Why was the Nigerian toddler crying? He was going through mid life crisis."

"A man walks into his son's room... He warns his kid, ""Son, you need to stop masturbating, or you'll go blind!"" The boy responds, ""I'm over here, dad."""