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Joke of the Day

"Although it may be true that I don't have a lot of friends, I do however have a significant amount of strangers that don't bother me."

"Whom does Ban Ki-Moon revolve around? Ban Ki-Earth."

"I heard apple was going straight to the iPhone 7 I guess it won't be very 6s-ful"

"So I was talking to Abrham Lincoln And I asked him, ""what are you doing tonight?"". He said, ""My wife's dragging me to a play somebody please kill me."""

"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Answer: FF [why?](/s ""2B OR NOT 2B = FF"")"

"I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner"

"This is the pig I've been fucking said the husband. The wife looks at the animal in the husband's arms and says that's a duck I was talking to the duck the husband said."

"Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn? The kernel was looking for him."

"Why do stormtroopers make good drivers? They won't ever hit anything."

"[on phone to gf] her: ""you never understand me anymore so.."" me: ""so what?"" her: ""we're breaking up"" me: ""i can hear you fine"""