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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the arms dealer who's giving away M18 Claymores with every purchase? Oh, I'm gonna get mines."

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behaviour"

"2 whales walk into a bar. First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk"

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."

"I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast It's mostly Sunni"

"The big bang by Dina Mite"

"What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more? An extractor fan"

"What was Beethoven's favorite food? BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)"

"Men and hookers Why do men always pick the hooker that costs tens of thousands of dollars over the far sexier hooker which costs two dollars? Because prostitution is looked down upon."