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Joke of the Day

"Are you from Iraq? Because I wanna see you Baghdad ass up"

"Why is King Joffrey like a mattress? Two twins make a King."

"I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?"

"I farted loudly in an Apple store and everyone got really pissed off at me. But its not my fault they don't have windows."

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by BATMAN!"

"Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine."

"It's a great time to be a horse caretaker in this economy Stable jobs are hard to come by these days."

"Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a ledge... ba-dum chsh!"

"Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT - plus a rude emoticon - into the face of a massive cliff. Now... we wait."

"Is it fair to say Marvin Lewis' joke bout Johnny Manziel... went over everybody's head?"