151987

Joke of the Day

"If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!"

"Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing..."

"Remember when you thought if you accidentally swallowed apple seeds, a tree would grow in your belly? God I miss my 'Thirties'...."

"Apparently I watch too much internet porn.... At least that's what my ebony girlfriend says."

"What did the prostitute say to her customer after he finished paying? ""It was a business doing pleasure with you."""

"My reddit secret santa gave me what I have really been wanting for quite some time now.... They fucked me."

"How did the Mexicans get across the border? They went through Juan by Juan. ^Forgive ^me."

"It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church."

"*First Date Her: Why are we at Home Depot? Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it."

"I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation... My Czech is in the mail!"