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Joke of the Day

"It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church."

"What do you call a seagull by the bay? A bagel."

"Women are like concrete.. You've gotta keep 'em wet and moving 'til you're done laying it."

"me and grandma are eating bread pudding and watching murder mysteries, she says what's up"

"Did You Hear About the Man who was Arrested for Possessing NaCl and an Electrical Source? He was arrested for a salt and battery!"

"Is there anything better than a good ol pat on the back.. to help you get out that last stubborn turd lodged up your sphincter?"

"A trans guy walks into the bar He passed."

"Wanna get rich? Buy my book, 'How to Get Stupid People on the Internet to Send You $39.95' for only $39.95."

"What's the capital of Greece? About 15 cents."

"I hate it when I pee in my pants and people think its just water that splashed on my crotch from washing my hands."