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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag but my son's friend said ""Your dad looks hot"" when I was cleaning the pool. She followed with ""Is that heat stroke?"" but still."

"They say masturbation makes you blind.... I don't see any problem with it."

"I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it's called ""Don't buy shit you can't afford!"""

"A hard worker got a promotion. Thats the joke."

"My kid is almost old enough for social media, so we'll need to have ""the talk"" soon. You know, about your/you're and there/their/they're."

"Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road? Because ah, the egg roll."

"ME: genie, i wish i was dead GENIE: [makes me dead then brings me back to life] ok u have two wishes left ME: i dont think u understood"

"Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster? He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours."

"A philosopher goes to a hotel. Philosopher: Can I get a room please? Receptionist: Sure. Which one? 2B or not 2B?"

"What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period because it marks the end of his sentence."