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Joke of the Day

"What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period because it marks the end of his sentence."

"When I'm drunk, I'm like South Park I'm crude and offends everyone"

"Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor"

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it!"

"Judging by the number of hats on the hanger... ...and the amount of shoes underneath, I am married to a three-headed spider."

"Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says: ""I think we got off on the wrong foot."""

"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."

"""Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!"" ""Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."""

"The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it."

"My wife came home one day... ... to find me doing her sister up the arse. ""How could you do this to me?"" she cried. I responded, ""Well, I can't. That's why I'm doing it to her."""