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Joke of the Day

"I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it's called ""Don't buy shit you can't afford!"""

"Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby."

"Did you hear about the terrorist on the talent show!? apparently he blew the judges away!"

"Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk? It always had some sort of weed on it!"

"at the salon thinking of going darker for winter maybe i'll kill the shampoo girl"

"[NSFW] Do you know what really brings out the child in me? A miscarriage."

"""I'm really good in bed"" -Ice cream"

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"

"What does robbing a Scotsman get you? Kilt"

"I finally found out why clickbait is so effective."