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Joke of the Day

"Ladies - how do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"[their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it"

"When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer."

"List of food it's okay to eat with your hands: - corn on the cob - chicken wings - ribs - hamburgers - spaghetti at your in-laws"

"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."

"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask."

"why google is a she? she have an answer for everything"

"Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog? He wanted to git a long little doggy."

"Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die? Because he was in de-nile."

"There are no limits to my perfection a monkey was thinking while looking at a human."