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Joke of the Day

"In The Oregonian, a Meier and Frank department store advertisement for women's bras and panties reads ""The perfect gift for that special woman in your life, or great to keep for yourself."""

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"Ritalin and Adderall Market Research says they both tested well among focus groups."
"What do Mexicans put under their carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"
"Life is like a bowl of soup You only get blown if you're hot"
"A Jewish kid asks his dad... A Jewish kid asks his dad one day, ""Dad, I need five dollars."" His father replies, ""Four dollars? What the hell do you need three dollars for?!"""
"If hillary wins, trump supporters can at least take solice in 1 fact. Bill clinton is going to be the first lady."
"""Oh, not much, just grooming my magnificent, powerful wings, you?"" -Pegasus every time a normal horse calls him"
"If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?"
"muffin man I was talking to the muffin man he looked kinda sad so I said something wrong? He said, no muffin's wrong"
"I'm so poor I can only afford Middle Ramen."