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Joke of the Day

"A seal walks into a club.... That's the story and we're sticking to it."

"If I ever have a son... I'm going to name him Bashun. And whenever our butler is unable to find him in the house he'll call out at the top of his voice, ""Master Bashun! Master Bashun where are you?"""

"Whats the difference between an Asian man and a box of chocolates? They'll both kill your dog, but the Asian will cook it afterwards."

"I had sex with a chipotle manager When I was about to lick some guac off her tits she stopped me and says ""You know that's extra, right?"""

"oh sally Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? NOT SALLY!"

"I just read a book about a girl who escapes from her parent's dispiriting home. It's a runaway best seller."

"""Keep away from children to avoid suffocation"" was the best advice I've ever received. You have to pay for that nowadays"

"Love is energy over time Because Watt is love?"

"If you watch Beauty & the Beast backwards a grown man devolves into a monster then into a petulant little boy. It's basically Twitter."

"Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date? The iceberg had said 'just the tip'"