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Joke of the Day

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. P.S.: Sorry if repost"

"Felt bad about hitting a car yesterday but I remembered to leave a note. Didn't have a pen so I used my key."

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."

"TIFU with my girlfriend... ...She was on top"

"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Hello Pregnant"", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. ""I'm Dad"""

"What kind of dog did Dracula have? A Bloodhound."

"A new definition of the word ""shrimp"" A girl whose body is so good but you want to cut her head off."

"I hate when my son does something wrong & he puts the blame back on me for not wearing a condom 10 years ago. Who can argue with that logic?"

"Change the last word of your favorite movie title to ""Impregnator"" e.g. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's **Impregnator** Transformers, Revenge of the **Impregnator**"

"A woman brings her items to the resister A woman brings five chocolate bars, a tub of ice cream, and some pregnancy tests to the counter Cashier: ""Ma'am, I don't think you need those pregnancy tests"""