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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a limp snake? An ereptile dysfunction."
Next Joke
"30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown."
"[BDSM] The other day I came home and found a man tied up on my bed that didn't look like my boyfriend. Whoops, wrong sub."
"Your vaginas PH is so messed up... That you orgasm acid rain."
"How long does it take To microwave a baby? I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer."
"I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti, which is used in somber occasions, like funerals, and it repurposes it for fun"
"Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid."
"Am I a bad person of I am skeptical of a guy with a ""Need Help - God Bless"" sign on an iPad 2?"
"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""
"Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology."