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Joke of the Day

"Rather than vote, let's all fill out the 29 dimensions of what we want in a president and let eHarmony decide."

"Why did the blonde have a red sore on her belly button? Because blonde men are idiots too."

"Every Girl Wants to be Swept off Her Feet It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out"

"Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean? She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so."

"Beware: Butterball Turkeys Recalled !! The factory forgot to butter their balls."

"How does Bruce Wayne's mom call Bruce in for dinner... She can't she's dead"

"I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet."

"Oscar Pistorious wanted to buy a new bathroom door His girlfriend was dead against is"

"I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident. Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute. After all, that's what they would've wanted."

"IF I HAD A NICKLE EVERY TIME A GOP OFFICIAL CALLED TRUMP'S BEHAVIOR ""UNACCEPTABLE"" BUT ACCEPTED HIM AS NOMINEE I COULD START A FAKE COLLEGE"