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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke."

"What's the coldest type of reptile? Blizzards."

"George Washington Today What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now? Scratchin' the inside of his coffin."

"I shoudl not be expected to put my knee on the ground to propose to a woman, the same ground where the animals shit,"

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down into a tire and call it a GoodYear."

"What does an egg say at a party? omelette"

"ATTENTION: upon further consideration I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience."

"What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts"

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, Would you go to lunch or read the paper?"

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"