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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke."

"The real joke isn't always in the comments Sometimes it's in the Whitehouse..."

"Opening a new Pho restaurant that never closes Going to call it Twenty Pho Seven."

"What is a cannibal's favourite treat? A kid kat. (My 9 year old son made this up.)"

"It's like my whole life is just one horrendous karaoke song choice after another."

"My wife told me to get her something she can use for her birthday this year. So I got her a face-lift and a tummy tuck."

"[puts hand on wife's stomach as baby kicks] Come out here & try that."

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach ..."

"What would happen if you shot Donald Trump in the rump? You'd hit Christi in the head!"