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Joke of the Day

"The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday."

"Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote ""dirty Jew"" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year."

"My friend started jogging so he'd live longer. He got hit by a bus and died the next day."

"A woman I met had 13 children all named David. When I asked her how she calls just one of them, she said, ""Oh that's easy; I just call them by their last names."""

"[1620] We Indians will bury the hatchet and teach you to farm. *Pilgrims huddle* It's a ruse, this soil looks awful for growing hatchets."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"The supermarket ran out of soup. They were out of stock."

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"What is metallic and if enters through your eye can kill you? A train"