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Joke of the Day

"I'm so glad those gulls found love and happiness together. After all, one good tern deserves another."

"It would make more sense to put a teacher in every gun shop."

"According to the employee handbook, I only require to show up sober. It doesn't say I can't drink once I get here."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" And it was at that moment when Peter broke down in tears, having realized that his mother's Alzheimer disease had finally reached past the point of no return."

"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."

"What do you call a joke with no punch line?"

"So a termite walks into a bar... And asks, hey, is the bartender?"

"How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you."

"Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?"

"If a problem has a solution - no need to worry. If there is no solution - then it is pointless to worry about. A fundamental principle of apathy."