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Joke of the Day

"What's a mohel's favorite drink? Bloody D"

"The best place to have a third nipple is on the palm of your hand so when you shake hands with someone you can sue for sexual harassment."

"I want you to drag me to the bedroom, softly lay me down, & kiss my neck. Now go clean the house while I take a nap."

"In Hillary's defense. A lot of your friends probably give you $15,000,000 a few times a year and don't expect anything in return."

"At the grocery store. Customer: ""Are these GMO carrots?"" Worker: ""No, why do you ask?"" Carrot: ""Yeah, why do you ask?"""

"What animal lives on the farm and says ""moo""? A bilingual chicken"

"What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind? Fa Ting"

"A builder came up to me. He said, ""Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"" ""Yes,"" I said. ""You just have to balance it on a flat surface."""

"Chuck Norris crab fishes the Bearing Sea using only a snorkel and a laundry basket."

"Did you hear about the amateur porn actor with the invisible dick? He came out of nowhere."