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Joke of the Day

"Coworker who supports Trump: Big weekend plans? Me: Huge. My weekend plans are so big you won't believe it. No one has bigger weekend plans."

"What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy? Lots a candy."

"When I was young, you could go into a corner shop with 1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freddos and a magazine. Nowadays, there's CCTV everywhere."

"Wanna know what 1000 marbles spilling on a tile floor sounds like? Have kids."

"I decided to have a can of soup for lunch today... ...And hating to see good food go to waste, I decided to have the soup as well."

"Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's? You can hide your own easter eggs."

"Why did the Bloody Mary need a restraining order? Celery Stalks."

"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."

"What do English class and a UFO have in common? Zeugma, tmesis, and polyptoton call it home!"

"Taylor Swift Stabs Lucky Fan 1,989 times."