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Joke of the Day

"At this point, the most shocking outfit Lady Gaga could wear is a t-shirt and jeans."

"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"

"What did the butcher say to the cow? ...I love you for your inner beauty."

"Your mother has the prettiest teeth I ever came across."

"NSFW Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed? Hubby: Yes I love that trick you do with your mouth. Wife: What trick? Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep!"

"It is said that, you can't buy happiness. You only need to know the right places..."

"I always hate going into my cousin's house. He vapes e-cigarettes constantly... ...so whenever I leave there, I end up smelling like an ashlesstray."

"A good woman is like home WiFi: Full of knowledge. Always there for you. Used by your roommate WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE THAT'S RIGHT AMY I KNOW"

"Is it just me or do those red foil wrapped Hershey's kisses taste almost identical to the silver foil Hershey's kisses? I'll keep testing."

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo is heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter."