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Joke of the Day

"Your life is like a box of chocolates It will kill your dog."

"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."

"Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved."

"Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?"

"Why isn't it safe to hunt niggers anymore? Because PETA will freak out."

"A guy tried to fight me for $0.25 I gave him no quarter."

"To a struggling artist: ""Don't give up... ...the day job."""

"How many people need to die before we fix... ...this horrendous piano dropping problem!"

"Whats the biggest cause of child molestation Sexy kids."

"So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company It's going to be called Game of Scones"