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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door? Because his wife was dead-set against it..."
Next Joke
"Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise. If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?"
"Fast and the Furious just announced a new movie called Faster And Furiouser 3.1: You Get the Drift"
"tomorrow is erection day for all the Asian-Americans."
"I used to have a roommate who was always smoking in my apartment, but only with e-cigs. He died of e-cancer."
"I used to be a Banker.... but then I lost interest"
"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through one of his skits without laughing"
"I put my blood sweat and tears into making this Red cordial"
"I made an late-night appointment with my escort But she informed me she is only working normal orifice-hours these days."
"[used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car"