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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy what is a transvestite?"" ""Ask Mommy, he knows."""

"I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it"

"Nothing says ""I've made poor life decisions"" like a couch in your front yard."

"Why do social justice warriors hate math? all the inequalities"

"What is the difference between homeless and vodka? Vodka does not freeze"

"I need a new job. One where I'm always running out the door with my arms flailing and holding a jar screaming ""I GOTTA GET THIS TO THE LAB!"""

"Dont take your phones with you when you go to a dentist they have li-ion batteries"

"CW: I like your scarf. Me: Thanks, it's a CVS receipt. I didn't know what else to do with it."

"Guy calls his doctor... He says, ""I figured out what's been causing the pain, doc. Avocado!"" Doctor: ""Did you research that?"" Guy: ""No, I just pulled it out of my ass"""

"I once knew a guy named Rob. I once new a guy named Rob, for a dollar he would suck on your knob. For a half dollar more, you could get the whole score And he would eat it like it was his job"