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Joke of the Day

"I once knew a guy named Rob. I once new a guy named Rob, for a dollar he would suck on your knob. For a half dollar more, you could get the whole score And he would eat it like it was his job"

"When I was in college, I used to have sex almost EVERY DAY... ...almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday..."

"What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car? A Daeshboard"

"The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours."

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"Do these pants make my butt look fat? No, but those glasses do."

"Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?"

"If someone tweets in the bathroom they are live streaming."

"Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar.. The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man."

"Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better."