171811

Joke of the Day

"Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside"

"Just because I've lost my mind doesn't mean I'm looking for it."

"I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"

"I was gonna tell you about anal But fuck it"

"Two dyslexic bank robbers attempted to rob the local bank today. (NSFW) They ran in and said ""Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!!"""

"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."

"A man and a fortune teller make a compromise and reach a happy medium."

"I'm a theist I would be atheist, but I left a space for God."

"If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]"

"Here's a joke about my senior year of college. I tried."