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Joke of the Day

"I just set Twitter to post to Facebook, and Facebook to tweet to Twitter... So the internet should explode any minute now."

"Maybe just don't throw stones in any kind of house."

"Why is football the single best sport? Because americans don't play it."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"" Fucking b*tch."

"I went to see a gay magician's show last night. For his last trick, he disappeared with a poof..."

"in high school I was voted 'who is that? does she even go to our school? Never saw her before'"

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"Did you hear about the guy who got chilled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now."

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""curiosity was here"""

"I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language It was just a play on words"