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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you put Root Beer in a Square Glass? It just becomes beer"
Next Joke
"I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower."
"My girlfriend broke the news that she's pregnant I responded, ""Congrats, now you have something to remember me by."""
"Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter."
"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."
"Girl Monster 1: ""I hear you've met the perfect guy."" Girl Monster 2: ""Oh yes he's a bad dream come true!"""
"Have you heard about the calculus professor who tried some bad amphetamines and ended up believing he was a moth? It's the old meth math moth myth."
"Why can't Irish people become lawyers? Because of their inability to pass the bar! Credit to my dad for this one"
"What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves? Your mom."
"Do you know what the hardest part of rollerblading is? Telling your father you are gay."