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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke the news that she's pregnant I responded, ""Congrats, now you have something to remember me by."""

"Scientists have found a definite link between sugar highs and pedophilia If you have a sugar high, you've probably eaten too many lolis."

"Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred? because they pump-kin"

"I swallowed a piece of Lego the other day I was shitting bricks."

"""My nose is going to grow now"" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time."

"I visited a dyslexic Christian clairvoyant today... She read my Psalm"

"So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it."

"My friend asked me if I was ever going to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe."

"A pedophile, a rapist, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink."

"Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it."