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Joke of the Day

"I got caught masturbating recently, to a National Geographic magazine. I don't know who was more embarrassed me or my dentist."

"What's a feminists least favorite Pokemon? Abra!"

"I made a popular girl laugh today... by asking her out."

"New music is so bad you should be cool like me: longing for a fictionalized version of the past you werent even alive for in the first place"

"I want my children to have all the things that I never had. Like nice children..."

"Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it."

"The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty."

"No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss."

"I tried to join the local hide and seek club today But I couldn't find them"