151150

Joke of the Day

"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"

"What is Donald Trump's favourite ice cream? Walls Vanilla Carte D'or - It's not Mexican! (*I am going to hell for this!)"

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"ME: On the one hand, I have this weird rash. And on the other hand DATE: ?? ME: It's on both hands, I should probably see a doctor"

"Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up."

"Astronaut: Dave, that's not necessary in zero-G. Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this."

"TIL that my neighbors really like the metal song i'm playing on my 7.1 sound system I figured because he thrown a brick at my window to hear it better ! \m/"

"Morning wood makes the best fire."

"Why wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left."

"I love Easter. My unborn children get to play find the egg tonight."