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Joke of the Day

"I have the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the Lincoln Park Zoo"

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween? Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks."

"What do moldy corn flakes and Charles Manson have in common? They're both cereal killers!"

"What does Mark Wahlberg eat for breakfast? Funky Bunches of Oats"

"Sexist Joke alert why do they say Lady's first? because its the best for last"

"My wife opened one of her birthday presents early, saying that it was ""practically screaming out at her"" That's the last time I buy her an orphan"

"Why can't I eat just one cookie and be happy???"

"How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? Idk, its too dark to tell them apart."

"Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win."